Death of Me
by SlayGal27
Summary: The Yoko Factor, cause I've got a thing for these two epi's. Not your usual, "Buffy stops Angel from leaving" or "Angel comes back" at the end of Yoko Factor. I put my own SlayGal spin on it. B/A angst, just 'cause I love 'em. ;)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So here's how it goes. Angel comes to Sunnydale and goes to the Bronze after seeing Buffy in the Yoko Factor. Not your usual Yoko Factor rewrite.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. And Carter. And the song she sings.

Angel sat at the bar of the Bronze, nursing a glass of Irish whiskey. _Maybe I could do as Doyle did. Drown my damned sorrows in whiskey,_ he mused, when someone slapped a dollar bill down, asked for a Coke, and slid a printed email in front of him.

He looked over the words and recognized his work.

"Carter."

"Hey Angel. Thanks for the help with my lyrics."

"Lyrics? I thought it was a project."

"It is. Final phase of which is about to be competed."

Carter pointed towards the empty stage and microphone. Angel looked back at her, horrified.

"No."

"Yes."

"Everything in that letter is about what I feel for her."

"Exactly. Riveting stuff, very inspiring. Here's the finished product." Carter pushed another peice of paper towards him. He looked it over and had to admit, the lyrics were accurate. If she sang this, Buffy would know. She'd know that he was still completetly, totally, hopelessly in love with her. Ha, as if she didn't already. Angel passed the sheet back to Carter.

"Why?"

"'Cause damnit Angel, you two deserve some fricking happiness after the shit you've been through."

The bartender came back with her Coke, and the young girl made herself comfy on her stool.

"So, how's life been?" She drawled out idly.

"Moment at a time," the vampire said and threw back his whiskey, slammed his tmbler onto the counter and immedietly ordered another one.

"What are you doing?"

"If I'm going to face Buffy, which I'll probably have to after your little show here, I'm gonna need a little liquid courage, if you know what I mean."

Carter rolled her eyes and siad, "Whatever."

A man got up on stage and called her name.

"I gotta go. Try not to get too buzzed, 'kay? I really can't deal with _two _drunk vampires tonight."

Carter slid off her stool and walked onto the stage, what was left of the Dingoes after Oz left standing behind her.

"'Kay, so a little bit about this song. I normally don't do love songs, but tonight it's an exception. This song was inspired by an e-mail from an old friend of mine. His deal is that he's kinda hopelessly in love wioth this girl. They dated, he had to leave her, not 'cause he didn't love her, 'cause he did. It was just complicated. He's got this big, fat, complicated past, and her friends aren't exactly his biggest fans. So this is kinda from his point of view, and... yeah, her goes;

_I can see the stars here_

_I can just sit alone_

_Me and my thoughts_

_Surrounded by the desert snow_

_And it's so quiet here_

_All the world seems far away_

_If I ever go back_

_I know I'll never be the same_

_I hear your heartbeat soft and slow_

_Why did I ever let you go?_

_Hear you heart and I fall asleep_

_Counting the seconds 'till I have to leave_

_So close you eyes_

_And listen to the silence_

_Just listen to the silence_

_Close your eyes_

_And listen to the silence_

_Ooh_

_I'm walking a winding road_

_If I ever lose my way_

_My nightmares push me back_

_I can't afford to make mistakes_

_But it's so lonely here_

_There are no hands to hold._

_No one seems to understand_

_That you're my home_

_And I hear your heartbeat soft and slow_

_Why did I ever let you go?_

_Hear you heart as I fall asleep_

_Counting the seconds 'till I have to leave_

_So close you eyes, and listen to the silence_

_Just listen to the silence_

_Close your eyes_

_And listen to the silence_

_Every night is cold_

_Without you by my side_

_Every time it gets old_

_To keep on fighting this fight_

_You're all that's left of what I used to be_

_Would you ever love me?_

_And I hear your heartbeat soft and slow_

_Why did I ever let you go?_

_Hear you heart as I fall asleep_

_Counting the seconds 'till I have to leave_

_So close you eyes, and listen to the silence_

_Just listen to the silence_

_Close your eyes_

_And listen to the silence_

Carter gave a short grin and walked back to the bar. Back at the table, Buffy's face was covered in silent tears. Riley was smiling ecstatically.

"That was great. Carter's really good, huh? I wonder who her friend is."

Everyone else's expressions were somber.

"What is it?"

The (dumbshit) boy finallly turned to face his girlfriend.

"Oh, Buffy honey, did Carter make you emotional? It's okay, I'm right here."

_Me, not that monster,_ he added in his head. To his surprise though, it didn't have the intended effect. Buffy pulled away.

"I can't."

"You can't what Buffy?"

"Riley, I like you. I might've loved you. I sure as hell wanted to. But I just... I can't keep pulling at your strings. We're done. I'm sorry."

And she ran.

**I think I'll make this a two-shot. You?**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Now for the juicy stuff. Eeep! You guys should listen to this song. It's called Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab. Sooo Goooood!

Disclaimer: If it were mine, this would actually happen. And Angel would kick Riley's ass twice. BTW, Carters song last Chappie? Yeah, I wrote it. Its original and stuff.

Buffy went to the bar. It was on the other side of the Bronze, where no one could see the tears streaming down her face. She didn't cry for Riley, no, she cried beacause she knew exactly who wrote the letter for Carter's song. Even though her heart, her body and her soul screamed for him, her mind held her back. Her mind said that she wouldn't be able to take it if he left her again. And she knew it was right. She couldn't trust Angel with anything but her life. Her heart was a different matter. He was so afraid he'd break it, he shattered it into a million peices, and then took those and half her soul with him to L.A. At the thought of this, the tears fell harder. She could see the bar through the throng of people. Buffy wiped the tears off of her face, and pushed her way through to the bar. She could see Carter sitting with some guy. Then she got it. That tingling at the base of her spine. Her Angel-Sense. But that was impossible. Fricking impossible. He'd literally just left. Literally. but he was here. she could feel it, deep in her bones. She headed to Carter. If anyone would know where Angel was, it was her. He was practically her older brother.

"Carter!" She called. Carter and the man sitting next to her turned to her, revealing the man's face. It was Angel.

She didn't remember passing out, but next she knew, she was flat on the ground, a crowd of spectators around her. Carter was bent over her, and Angel was kneeling over her, one hand on her cheek, the other grasping her hand tightly.

"Angel?" She asked groggily.

"Buffy," he breathed out.

"What- what happened?"

"You passed out."

"How?"

"Shock," Carter supplied.

"Oh yeah. I thought- I thought you already left."

"Came for a drink, saw Carters show."

"Huh. Wonder who that friend of hers is?"

"Umm..."

"Angel, you can tell me. I won't run away. Not that I'm in any position to."

"I was the one who wrote the letter Carter used to help write her song."

"Thought so."

"Buffy, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"You moved on. You didn't need that."

"I didn't."

"I know."

"No, I mean I didn't move-"

"Excuse me," came the shrill (annoying) voice of Riley Finn, as he pulled Angel off of Buffy and roughly pulled her up.

"Hands off my girl," Riley tried to look manly and impressive, but failed pretty miserably.

Angel nodded, took one last look at Buffy, a look that said, 'I love you', 'I miss you', 'I'll wait for you', all in one, and turned her knees to jelly. And then he turned to leave. She realized what was happening; he was about to walk out of her life, maybe forever. She couldn't let him. Buffy tried to go after him, but Riley wouldn't let go. He tried to pull her to him, but she turned and punched him in the nose. Then she ran. Again.

He was in the back allyway. She knew he would be.

"Angel!"

He stopped and turned to face her, "Buffy, go back inside. Riley probably wants to be with you."

"Screw Riley. I need to finish what I told you."

"And what's that?"

Buffy walked towards him. They were only 6 inches apart.

"I didn't."

"Didn't what?"

"I didn't move on."

"Buffy-"

"No, hear me out. I didn't move on, because I can't. When I told you I didn't trust you in L.A? I was lying. When I said I trusted Riley? Lying. When I said I'd moved on? Lying, and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you. I'm sorry I hit you. I'm sorry that I told you those things, and I'm so sorry I hurt you." Tears were streaming down her face, tears of shame and remorse. With a shaking hand, Angel brushed them away.

"Please don't leave again. I can't, I can't..."

"Shh, shh."

He held her as she sobbed, silently crying himself.

When she stopped, she looked up at him.

"I love you."

"I love you."

And she kissed him. Above them, a certain gypsy watched. A young girl sat by her side.

"Celia, would you like to help me do something for your cousin?" She asked.

"Oooh, yes _please_ Ms. Calender," the little girl squealed.

Jenny Calender offered the girl her hand and stood. They began to walk towards the marble arches of the Watching Pools to the main chamber. It was time to see the Oracles.

**My goodness! My first cliffy! Oh, how I love it. So, gonna make this a multichapter. Maybe only one or two left. We're gonna fix Angel's soul, and Something rather life changing will happen to Buffy that makes her rethink her relationship with Riley. Hint, Angel: 1x08. Reviews feed my muse. Toodles! P.S, the title choice will become clear when I finish the story. Ah, this is gonna be _fun!_**

**SlayGal**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I know, I update obsessively, but I just loooooove this story, it was soooo fun to write! I thought it would just be a quickie 1 or 2 shot, but musie, she just keeps coming with them totally awesome plots and oooooooh! I'm babbling aren't I? Well then, to the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: If it were mine, uh... Oh yeah! There would be a Buffy/Angel action movie, where all Scoobies and all AI members meet and kick some demon ass together. Aha! Idea! Moving on.

Jenny Calender stood before the Oracles.

"You are not a Warrior," the male spat out bitterly, "You are nothing but a simple spirit. What need have you of us?"

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!" Celia yelled.

"Stay out of this one child," Jenny told her.

"But-"

"Celia, please. If you want to help Buffy, then-"

"Buffy, did you just say Buffy?"

Jenny straightened up, "Yes."

"As in, the Slayer?" The female ventured.

"Yes."

"Then what is your need?"

Jenny and Celia smirked at each other. Celia stepped forward and said, "Here's what we want you to do..."

Buffy woke up to the feel of a familiar carress to her cheek.

"Stop," she murmured.

"Why not? You're beautiful. This is the closest I get to touching sunlight. Don't take that away from me."

She could hear the laughter in his voice. She opened her eyes to see him, him and that beautiful smile that was just for her. Buffy looked around to see his apartment. They had come the night before after their allyway meeting. It had been so satisfying to wake up next to him again. She reached out and idly traced his mouth.

"You're smiling."

"your powers of observation amaze me," Angel teased.

"You don't smile much."

"Haven't had alot to smile for I guess. But this, waking up next to you, holding you... It's a dream. I'm not sure If I want to wake up."

"Me either."

"So what now?"

"Um... Well... I was hoping that I could go back to sleep, and you could do that slightly stalkerish watching me thing. readY? Go!"

Buffy flopped back onto the bed and firmly shut her eyes. When he heard Angel's laughter though, she reopened them and smiled at him.

"What?" She asked.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Well," Buffy propped herself up on her elbow, Angels shirt that she had borrowed to sleep in falling down her shoulder, "Let's start with, you're smart, funny, handsome," she began to trace idle patterns on his chest, "You care about what Angelus did in your body. You want to make amends for your demon, even though it wasn't you who did any of it. It would have been so easy for you to just stake yourself. Or step out into the sunlight. But you didn't."

"I was just too cowardly to take my own life."

"I think that you were strong enough to fight on."

Angel looked down at her. This woman, this tiny, amazing woman had taught him everything he knew about truly loving someone so much, you got the chills from their voice. She looked up at him, her hazel orbs searching his chocolate ones.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you."

He leaned down and kissed her, soft at first, but then with a growing passion. He rolled on top of her, supporting himself with his forearms. Her hands went to his shoulders, feeling the contours of his muscular back. His kisses went to her jawline and her neck, and she rolled her eyes in ecstasy, before pulling him back to her lip and kissing him hungrily. They rolled over and his hands found their way to her waist, hers to his plain white t-shirts coller, fingering at it. Buffy groaned into his mouth, and she felt his smile as he kissed her. He went back to her neck, feeding kisses to his mark.

"Angel, we have to stop."

"I know."

He went strait back to her mouth and rolled them over again. He moaned and Buffy ran her fingers through his thick hair, tugging at the spikey locks. He ran a thumb over the skin of her stomach, relishing her feel, her touch, her scent surrounding him, intoxicating him, cocooning-

They were interrupted by a pair of golden and blue figures. Angel immediately got off of Buffy and both warriors stood.

"Warriors," the female Oracle greeted them pleasently enough. The man just sat back and glared.

"Umm... Smurfette," Buffy ventured. Angel barely suppressed a grin.

"Buffy, these aren't Smurfs, they're the Oracles."

"The Orcles?"

"The Oracles. Magical beings that dictate fate."

"Wait, so they're the ones that screw with my future on a daily basis? Wow, real nice to meet you guys. Add in Angelus coming back and my mother sleeping with Giles and it's my best day ever."

"Buffy, calm down," Angel took her hand, trying to soothe her.

"Insolent being! Watch your tongue!" The male called out.

"Don't call her that," Angel growled.

"All of you, control yourselves," the female yelled out. Everyon turned to look at her, all with stormy expressions of distaste for the situation.

"Brother," she snapped, "We came her for one reason and one reason only. Not to bicker with our two best warriors. So, calm down and give them the news."

"What news?" Buffy asked.

"Your cousin has requested we give you your... how did she put it? Oh yes, your 'Happy Ending'. Why she called it an 'Ending' I'll never find, it's far from the end of your battles."

"My-my cousin?" Buffy's voice quivered.

"Yes. A small girl named Celia? And a woman, Janna Calender."

"Oh my God," Buffy whispered, and sat down with a thud.

"Their wish for the to of you to be united was worthy. We come here to grant it."

"What are you going to do?" Angel asked when the male Oracle stepped towards them. He placed himself in front of Buffy in a protective stance.

"I'm simply returning what was lost Warrior. What you took."

Realization dawned on him and he shook his head, "No. No please don't. She doesn't need that. I beg you, don't."

"It's not your choice to make," he hissed, and tossed the vampire aside.

"Angel!" Buffy yelled, and began to run to his side. The male Oracle grabbed her arm and put a hand over the bridge of her nose. Her head jerked back as images filled her mind. Angel, her, wearing his shirt, lying in perfect contentment with him, cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream, sunlight, kissing, and falling asleep to the steady thump thump thump of his heartbeat. She was jerked out, gasping. Angel sat before her, a hand on her cheek, concern written across his face. How could...? What just...? She was so confused. She knew one thing though. Angel had been human, and he had given it back.

"How could you?" She asked him, "How could you throw that way?"

"Buffy-"

"Why? Was it me?" Tears streamed down her face.

"Buffy, no."

"Well it must have been, because it certainly wasn't Cordelia!"

"Buffy, please listen to me."

"Do you even love me?"

"Of course I do! How can you ask me that? How can you even think that?"

"I don't know Angel, how about the only guy I've ever loved taking the one thing that would have solved every damned problem we've ever faced with our relationship and makeing it go poof? Hmm? How about that?"

"I never meant to hurt you." He looked so ashamed, so guilty, so heartbroken. But it was nothing close to what she was feeling at that moment.

"Well guss what? You did! And you want to know what really bugs me? You said, if I'm remembering correctly that is, that you were giving it back to protect me, right? Riddle me this Angel, how exactly did you plan on protecting me when you're still shutting me out in every way possible?"

He stepped nearer, but Buffy backed up and turned away. Angel drew back the hand that was about to touch her face.

"Maybe I should go," he said.

"I think that would be best," she replied. She heard him shuffle around, grab his jacket, and shoes, and head out the door. When he was gone, she let out a strangled sob and fell onto the bed, shaking hands lifting the sheets to her face as the tears came. Sobs wracked her body. The sheets still smelled like him. She curled into a ball and chanted his name, over and over. She cried and cried untill she felt shriveled and dry. She got up, got water and slipped between the sheets that still held his scent and sobbed herself to sleep.

**Oooohhh, you must hate me right about now. But all in good time my lovelies. I mean, come on. You really think I'd end it like that? Hell no. Oh, the good stuff is coming up soon. You might not think so, but trust me. Yeah, this is gonna be fun.**

**Kisses! **

**SlayGal**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oh yeah, chappie 4. You must all hate me soooo much for the last chapters ending. Well don't worry lovelies, this will soon be good and done, preferably with more Riley bashing and the kicking of Adams green (Is it green? I'm not sure if it's really green) ass. I'm kinda messing with the timeline and the story. The Scoobies fight was solved before the end of the Yoko Factor, which is why they all went Bronzeing together.**

**Disclaimer: If it were mine, Angel would have stayed during Chosen. He'd also have a gaurdian angel (the irony) that stops him from making stupid decisions (i.e, leaving Buffy, sleeping with Darla, Cordelia... I could go on and on.)**

Buffy was staring at the wall. She had awoken at midnight, gone on patrol, and now she was back in Angel's bed, feeling numb. It had been a few days since their fight. Angel had gone back to L.A, she knew it.

_Why does he do this to me?_ She wondered, _Why does he just stop by, make me ride the emotional roller coaster, turn me into a wreck, and just leave again? Does he like seeing me worked up? Does he get some kind of high from it?_ She rolled over. Giles and Xander had stopped by earlier, along with Willow, trying to get her to tell them what happened. The most they got was that Buffy and Angel had had a fight.

"Must've been one helluva fight," she'd heard Xander mutter as he left the day before. Buffy had basically moved into the apartment. She skipped school, didn't go anywhere but the cemetaries, and slept most of the time. Everyone had come by. Riley many times, yelling through a locked door that Angel didn't love her, that he was a monster, the Riley was so much better for her than that thing. He stopped when Spike came by and beat the crap out of him. Buffy remembered that day vividly.

_**Flashback**_

_"Buffy! Buffy come out of there, this instant," Riley yelled. Buffy didn't answer, preffering to stay in her little ball on the bed, staring at Angels sketches._

_"Buffy, you can't hide from this. He left you again. He doesn't love you. I do! Just come back to me, and we can put all of this behind us."_

_His words shook her to the core. Buffy felt the burning behind her eyes she had become so accustomed to. She began to rock back and forth, tears spilling over. How could Riley say those things about him? Riley didn't even _know_ Angel._

_"Hey, Fishboy, what are you doing here?"_

_Buffy suddenly stopped rocking, wiped the hair off of her face and looked up. Was that..? No, it couldn't be. He hated her._

_"I told you Soldier Boy, out or I'll sike my fangy friends on you, maybe even send a few down to Iowa."_

_"Listen Hostile, You don't know anything, so don't tell me to leave. Buffy and I are very much in love, thanks, and once she gets over this sick obsession with that _monster, _we'll be together agai-"_

_Buffy widened her eyes at the sound crack of bone against fist._

_"Wrong move, Fishy." _

_Another crack._

_"Only I get to talk about Peaches like that."_

_The lock of the door was broken and Spike entered the apartment. Behind him was Riley, in a crumpled heap on the ground, two bruises already blossoming on his jaw._

_"Hey cutie," he said in a low voice. Spike closed the door behind him and went over to Buffy, sitting acrosse from her on the bed._

_"How're you feeling?"_

_He took one look at her face and knew the answer._

_"Right, dumb question."_

_They sat in silence for a few moments._

_"Why are you here Spike? I thought you hated me."_

_"Well, Slayer, truth be told, I've grown rather fond of you. I reckon I'm taking a leaf outta the Poofs book."_

_"Could we not talk about him?"_

_"Actually, no. Slayer, you shouldn't bottle all this up. It'll make you explode. So... make like your guts and spill. What happened that made him go all overhanging forehead, sorrowful glance and walk away in the smoke on you?"_

_"I... I told him to."_

_"Wow Slayer. You've done some stupid things in your time, but let me tell you, this really caps the ice-"_

_"He was human Spike."_

_The bleached vampire was rendered speechless._

_"Bloody Hell," he murmured, "Then why'd he leave?"_

_"Because that was before. He's a vampire now."_

_"Yeah, Slayer, that's kinda how it goes. Human gets killed, demon sets up shop."_

_"It's not like that, it was a demon."_

_"Yes, it generally is."_

_"I mean, not a vampire, but a Mutant Ninja Turtle demon."_

_"You mean a Morah?"_

_"Yeah, that. It turned Angel human."_

_"Bloody Hell," he said for the second time, "When?"_

_"When I went to see him after thanksgiving. Remember, when Willow cast her spell for her will to be done, and you and I thought we were married?"_

_"Oh yeah. That was terrifying."_

_"No kidding. Then, because being human just didn't seem to do it for him like being a vampire did, so he turned back time so that he killed the Morah before it made him human. We had... everything we always wanted. Or, at least I did. He didn't think it was worth the struggle. He's such a damn coward." Buffy wiped her eyes._

_"Slayer, you know I'm not my Sire's biggest fan, but you should tell him this. I stand by what I said before. You'll be in love 'till it kills you both. But do you want to spend your last moments apart, or by his side?"_

_His question left her in deep thought. Spike sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get anything out of her now, and took his leave. As he walked out, he heard her voice._

_"Spike?"_

_"Yeah cutie?"_

_"Thank you."_

**_End Flashback_**

And now she was back to staring at the wall. Numb.

Across town, a certain bleached vampire was on the phone.

"C'mon, ya ponce, pick up the damn phone."

It was the first time Spike had been alone at Giles' since his little visit to Buffy. And he knew the Watcher would stake him if he knew who Spike was calling... let's just say it'd be a good day for Ripper.

"Hello, Angel Investigations, we help the helpless." Cordelia's perky voice came over the phone.

Put me through to Angel," he demanded.

"I'm sorry, but-"

"_Now_ Seer. It's a matter of life and death."

He got her there, he knew. Next he knew, the Ponce's sullen voice was saying, "Hullo?"

Spike scoffed, "Don't _tell_ me you're there _brooding _mate. After all that's happened here in good ol' Sunnyhell, that'd be low. Even for you."

"What are you talking about Spike? And, how'd you get my number?"

"Oh, Giles has it taped to the fridge. And anyway, as for what I want, come down here and get you're damn Slayer outta her funk."

"Her what?"

"I've watchin' to much TV. Her funk, Peaches. Her bad mood, her gloomy greys, that sort of thing. You readin' me?"

He heard Angel sighing over the phone and could practically _see_ him pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Look Peaches, you've left her twice. She isn't going to be able to handle a third time. She's lookin' like any run of the mill vamp is gonna off her any second. Soldier Boy is harrassin' her, she won't talk to her friends, hell, she barely talked to me."

"Why are you calling me in the first place Spike? I thought you hated us."

"'Cause as much as I wish you'd rot in Hell, again, I do care about the Slayer. I've been seein' through her happy facade since day one. She's losin' her will to live Angel, and as much as I hate to say it, you're the only on who can give it back."

Silence met him on the other end of the phone, and he simply hung up. It was up to the Ponce now. Spike could only hope he'd be in Sunnyhell by sunrise.

_One more night Slayer,_ the young vampire thought, _You can survive another night, can't you?_

**Hi, yeah, I know. It's a kinda sorta cliffy, yay! Keep a lookout for more updates, and sorry it's been so long. So... can anyone guess what'll happen next? Let me know if you do!**

**Kisses**

**SlayGal**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, I just got back from a weeklong camp where no technology is allowed, which is why I haven't updated. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I don't own it. Thanks for reminding me, over and over and over.**

Angel hung up long after the line went dead. Losing the will to live? That didn't sound like his Buffy. He snorted. If only he could still think of her as his.

"Hey boss," Cordelia said as she walked in. She paused when she saw Angel's expression.

"Oh no," she said and threw her purse onto the chair.

"Oh no what Cordy?"

"Don't play games with me Angel, that's your Buffy face."

"My what?"

"Your Buffy face. You know, the face you get when you're brooding about Buffy. So... spill. What happened in good old Sunnyhell?"

Angel gave a short laugh then told her everything, including his interesting conversation with Spike.

"I don't know what to do. On one hand, Spike is telling me she needs me, and on the other, she could be fine and dandy and back with that annoying prick, Finn."

"Angel, I doubt she's back with a prick."

"I'm serious Cordy, what do I do?"

"Look, Angel I don't know a lot about what you and Buffy have, but I know you love her. If there's evev a slight chance she needs you right now, you owe it to her to go to her."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Now, go get your girl."

Angel smiled, grabbed his coat and headed to the door.

"Cordelia?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"You know how you can thank me? A raise. A big one. _After _you get back."

Angel smiled again, ran to his car, and gunned the engine.

_Sunnydale, here I come. Hold on Buffy._

* * *

As he drove, he felt something. A sharp pain in his stomach. Gasping, but determined, he pressed the pedal harder to the floor and drove on across the desert. Oh please, let it not be to late. Please.

* * *

His apartment beneath the Bronze. He should have known, really, but he was still surprised. Even more surprising was who was standing watch at the door.

"Spike?"

The younger vampire looked up sullenly.

"Hey Peaches."

"What's going on?"

"You're to late."

"What?"

"The Slayer went out and got herself bit. You're to late to save her Angel. She's on her way out right now. You'd best get in there and... say your goodbye's."

"I don't-"

"Just get in there. She doesn't have long."

Angel entered his apartment and was hit by the smell of blood. Her blood. Oh God no. Please, no.

"No," he whispered, alerting Buffy and the Scooby's keeping a constant vigil by her side to his presence, "No, please no."

He rushed to her side and fell to his knees. He took everything in. The bloodstain on her stomach, the bite mark on her neck, not very deep, it looked like the vamp didn't get far after it bit her.

"Angel?" She croaked, holding a bloody hand out to touch his face. He took it in both of his own and kissed it, "Are- Are you real?"

He almost broke at her words. he let out a choked sob and said, "Yes, yes I'm real."

"Don't leave. Please don't leave me."

"I'll never leave you. Never again. I swear."

"It's to late, isn't it? It's to late for us."

"No, God no. It can't be. You can't leave me here on my own. Not again, oh God not again."

"Hey, I'll be okay. I'll se you on the other side, won't I?"

"Don't say that. I won't let you die, I swear. Please, please don't leave."

Her hand was still resting in his palms, his tears spilling over.

"Hey, no more tears. I can say goodbye. I _need _to say goodbye."

"Don't, please don't."

"You can't fight fate Angel."

"You can sure as hell try. Buffy, please don't. Just don't."

"I love you Angel."

"Don't do that! Don't say it like it's goodbye. You can't do that. You can't leave me here. Not alone, not like this."

"Just live. Please. For me."

"Don't ask me that. You can't ask me that."

"Goodbye Angel. I love you, so much."

And she went still. Angel felt her heart stop and his world came crashing down around him.

**You must hate me right now. But all in good time my lovelies, all in good time. Next chapter will be fluffy, I promise. After, you know... the resounding angst.**

**Kisses**

**SlayGal**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So... after that last chapter... wow. I know I left you guys upset and crap, but trust me when I say that this update? Totally worth it. ****_Trust _****me. Or, you know, don't. Either way, read on kiddos.**

**Disclaimer: Do I have to do it ****_again?_**** Fine. 'I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.' There, okay? Now get off my freaking back Joss Whedon!**

"No!" He cried it out. The anguish in his voice was palpable.

"No! You can't do this! You can't just leave me here!"

Angel began to shake the glassy-eyed, unresponsive Slayer.

"Please don't leave..." The Scooby's watched as the vampire collapsed. With shaking hands, he brushed the hair off her face. Her open, empty eyes taunted him. With a hand still covered in her blood, he shut them, crying bitterly as he did so. Angel looked at her face, frozen in an expression of serenity. He saw his own cold tears hit her skin as he lowered his lips to hers in parting. And she was cold. She was so. Damn. Cold. Angel rose from the body of his dead love and turned away. The Scooby's could see the unmasked pain and anger written all over his face. Giles realized something he hadn't before. Angel wasn't Angelus. Angelus would not have wept for Buff,y's death, he would have laughed and fed the girl his blood, turning her. Angel was not Angelus.

The distraught vampire pushed passed the others, past Spike, and began walking towards a familiar hilltop to finish what he started one snowy Christmas...

* * *

Buffy was surrounded by white robed figures.

"Slayer," one said.

"Who are you?"

"We are the angels."

"Angels. Angel, I have to get back to him."

"We know Slayer. We are waiting for something."

"For what?"

Then she felt something like a pair of cool lips touching hers. Angels cool lips.

"That. The conduit to heal you and let you get home."

"The conduit?"

"Ask your vampire about it."

The angels began to fade away. The one she had been speaking to called, "It is not your time yet Slayer. It is not his either."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy yelled.

"Go to him! Quickly!"

Everything faded away, but then...

The Slayer took a long, shuddering gasp of air.

"Buffy!" She heard Willow exclaim as she opened her eyes, "You're alive! You're alive! I thought you were-"

"I was. But Angel... Where is he anyway?"

"He left. Buffy, he was so broken. I don't know where he is now."

But Buffy did.

"No, no he wouldn't."

"Buffy what's wrong?"

"I'll tell you later. Right now I have to go!"

She made to jump out of bed, but the Wiccan held her in place.

"Easy Buff, You just came back from the dead. Slow it down."

"Willow I can't! Angel's at that hilltop waiting for the sunrise right now, and unless I stop him, he's screwed, and I... I can't live without him Wills. I just can't."

"Go. Now!"

Buffy succeeded in leaving this time, sprinting out of the room and towards the stairwell, ignoring the shocked yells of the three men she passed, an the attempt to stop her from one. She had to get to the hilltop.

**Ooooooh, suspense! I know I gave you mini heart attacks with that last chapter, but srlsy, have you no faith? No way on God's beautiful green earth would I end it like _that._ So of course Buffy comes back. Anyone wanna guess what happens next? If you do and post in in a review, you get virtual cookies.**

**Kisses!**

**SlayGal**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: La la la la la, oh, hello there. Ready for a new chapter? Well get ready for some full blown angst kiddos.**

**Disclaimer: Srsly? Again? C'mon Joss, I don't own your show! Now go sue someone else for a change!**

* * *

Buffy was running. She didn't know how long she was doing it, she was just running. She _needed _to get to Angel, _fast._

* * *

Angel was standing on the hilltop. He closed his eyes and was swamped in memories.

_Strong is fighting. It's hard, it's painful, and it's everyday. It's what we have to do, and we can do it together!_

"Lies," he said into the darkness.

"Angel."

The vampire turned around to see her. His love. His _dead _love.

"You're not real."

"Angel, listen to me. You have to come with me."

"I'm hallucinating. You're not real."

"Angel, I'm real. You're real. This is real."

"Stop. Just stop."

"Angel, please! Come inside, you have to."

"Where is she?"

"Where is who?"

"Buffy. The real Buffy. Is she- is she in heaven?"

"Angel I'm right here!"

Over his shoulder, she saw the first shoots of light signaling the sunrise.

"Angel, c'mon," she grabbed his arm and pulled him along, and Angel was too shocked to do much more than follow. She pulled him, running to the mansion, and just as the sun came up over the trees, she tackled him into the stone hall, her on top of him. He reached up and stroked her cheek.

"You're real."

"No duh," she didn't sound like she meant it though, she was breathless, and her lips came crashing down on his, his hand cupping her face and the other gripping her waist. She was here, she was _real_. Buffy held his unscarred, unburned, warm face in her hands. Wait, warm?

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

He caught his breath as she rested her hand on his chest and felt the thrumming beneath her fingertips.

"Your heart..."

He felt it too.

"Angel, you're alive. You're actually alive. You can walk in the sunlight alive."

"So are you."

They looked into each others eyes, and their lips came together in a hungry passion. They pulled apart and Angel smoothed the hair off her face.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you."

Another fiery kiss, and Angel thought, _This girl is going to be the death of me._


End file.
